Sorry, I'm not Sorry.

Nothing in particular sparked this post, just a collective of life lately. I have decided I am sick of "defending" my parenting and I really don't care what anyone thinks about it anymore. As parents we constantly feel like we have to justify why we do a, b or c. Why? Why do we feel the need to explain why we use formula or breastfeed or why we spank or don't? It's not a competition about who is right or not. Some things work for my family that may not work for yours and vice versa. I'm also sick of getting judged by people for not parenting the way they deem fit.

Recently, the big issue is my children not saying "yes ma'am" or "no sir." I don't forcefully teach my children to say this. Sorry, i'm not sorry. I was never made to say it as a child. I was taught to show respect, answer someone when they speak to you and acknowledge them. I was taught to be respectful of adults who were respectful to me. I know gasp, the concept that respect goes both ways applies to my children too? Well yes, they are human being deserving of respect too. I was never required to address everyone as sir or ma'am and I don't expect it of my children. My husband and I differ on this view and that is ok, he understands my side and I his. We move on and it isn't much of an issue in our house. 

I know I am a good parent. My children are great kids as far as I am concerned. I am sick of having to explain a behavior of my son's as part of his ADHD, I am sick of telling people my daughter is not rude, she is just shy. I am sick of trying to prove to people that my kids are good kids. I have made a conscious choice to let my children be who they are, I let them be heard even though they don't always get their way I make sure they know their opinion is important. I let my son dress up with his sister without fear of him becoming gay (really why is anyone afraid of this anymore? It's not scary). I let my daughter speak her mind as long as she isn't being disrespectful. I let my children be angry, I do however direct them to appropriate outlets for their anger such as screaming into a pillow or punching your bed. I have exhausted every resource and find it is useless to force my son to eat anything he doesn't want to. I'm done apologizing for all of it.

So yes, some days you will see my son (who is under the weight limit) in a stroller walking to or from the bus stop, and I don't really care what you think. If you have a problem then address me and we can agree to disagree or you can just f-off. Really your feelings about my children and my parenting are not my priority. Sorry.

-Sarah

My Husband, My Hero

So as I write about being an Army wife I thought I would share why I do it!! My husband. He is the most amazing man!! I could not have asked for someone more perfect for me!

When I met my husband I knew nothing about Army life. I met him online and shortly after we went on a date. 2 weeks later and I was in love!! On May 5, 2007 we were married. He is a great man, not just in the aspect of being a soldier, but in all aspects.

He is great with our kids. I think if money was no object we would have a dozen. He takes care of them and worries about them constantly. He wakes up with them in the middle of the night, and at any time I can walk out of the house and he does not mind caring for them. He plays with them and changes diapers and bathes them. He puts them to bed and reads to them and even takes care of them when I they are sick. I could not ask for more. He is 100% in the partnership of parenting them

He supports me with all he has. I have tried many different things to make a second income in this ever moving lifestyle and he has supported me 100% in each endeavor. Right now I sell Scentsy. He passes out catalogs and business cards and helps me to reach goals. He finds me parties and even gives me hope when times are hard.

He loves me. I know he loves me with everything just as I love him. He loves my corny jokes and my anxiety disorder. He knows how to make me smile and his hug can cure anything.

He is my best friend and I truly believe the person God intended for me to be with. I cannot ask for more in a partner. He is my everything. Here is a poem that sums it up!!

What is a MILITARY Wife?  They may look different and each is wonderfully unique, but this they have in common:
-Lots of moving
-Moving some more
-Moving even more
-Moving far from her hometown
-Often moving two cars, three kids and one dog—-all riding with HER of course
-Moving sofas to basements because they won’t go in THIS house
-Moving curtains that won’t fit
-Moving jobs and certifications and professional development hours
-Moving away from friends, moving toward new friends
-Moving her most important luggage; her trunk full of memories
-Often waiting-Waiting, waiting, waiting for housing; waiting for orders; waitingfor deployment; waiting for reunion; waiting for the precious 5 or 10 minute phone call; waiting for that 3 sentence email; waiting for the new curtains to arrive; waiting for him to come home for dinner—-AGAIN!
-They call her ‘military dependent,’ but she knows better
-She can balance a checkbook
-Handle the yard work
-Fix a noisy or overflowing toilet
-She is intimately familiar with drywall, anchors, and toggle bolts
-She can file the taxes, sell a house, buy a car, or set up a move, and all with one Power of Attorney
-She welcomes neighbors that don’t welcome her
-Reinvents her career with every PCS; locates a house in the desert, the arctic, or the deep south and learns to call them all ‘home’
-She MAKES them all home
-She is fiercely IN-dependent
-Military wives are somewhat hasty
-They leap into decorating, leadership, volunteering, career alternatives, churches and friendships
-They don’t have 15 years to get to know people, often just two or three
-Their roots are short but flexible
-They plant annuals for themselves and perennials for those who come after them
-Military wives quickly learn to value each other
-They connect over coffee, rely on the spouse-network, accept offers of friendship and favors and record addresses in pencil
-Military wives have a common bond
-The military wife has a husband unlike other husbands his commitment is unique.-He doesn’t have a job, he has a ‘mission’ he can’t just decide to quit he’s on-call for his country 24/7 but for you, he’s the most unreliable guy in town!
-His language is foreignTDY, PCS, OPR, LDO, PSD, ACC, BDU, TAD, EDO
-A military wife is a translator for her family and his.
-She is the long-distance link to keep them informed the glue that holds them together
Military Wife has her moments when she wants to wring his neck, dye his uniform pink, and refuse to move to Siberia, but she pulls herself together.

Give her a few days, a travel brochure, a long hot bath, a pledge to the flag, and a wedding picture. And she goes. She packs. She moves. She follows.Why? What for? How come? You may think it is because she has lost her mind. But actually it is because she has lost her heart. It was stolen from her by a man, a man who puts duty first and country first, longs to deploy, who salutes the flag, and whose boots in the doorway remind her that as long as he is her Military Husband, and she will remain his Military Wife.